dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
