I love black thongs
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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