you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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