Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
