I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
