Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
