I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
