the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You can't just leave with hair like that
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
