I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
