I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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