Ambien. No doubt about it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
