Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
