Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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