Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
