she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
