So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
