My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
