I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
