Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
