I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
