I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
