Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
