ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
