ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
