Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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