I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
