don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
