I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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