I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had to cum in my sink.
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