Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
