Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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