So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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