Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
