Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
