please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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