Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
