She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
