well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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