she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
