It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
