I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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