He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
