what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
