The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
