the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
is wine microwaveable?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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