I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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