I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
