That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
