he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
