I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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